telling a good story

i was sent by ms. d an email extolling humanity, it said at the bottom to send it to many people. but i thought, i'd rather post it here for i believe that it proves the point that i posted it therefore i am [i don't know though if cogito ergo sum still applies].

The Story of Shay

At a fundraising dinner for a school that serves learning disabled
children,the father of one of the students delivered a speech that would
never be forgotten by all who attended. After extolling the school and its
dedicated staff, he offered a question:

"When not interfered with by outside influences, everything nature does is
done with perfection. Yet my son, Shay, cannot learn things as other
children do. He cannot understand things as other children do. Where is the
natural order of things in my son?"

The audience was stilled by the query. The father continued. "I believe,that
when a child like Shay, physically and mentally handicapped comes into the
world, an opportunity to realize true human nature presents itself, and it
comes, in the way other people treat that child."Then he told the following
story:

Shay and his father had walked past a park where some boys Shay knew were
playing baseball. Shay asked,"Do you think they'll let me play?" Shay's
father knew that most of the boys would not want someone like Shay on their
team, but the father also understood that if his son were allowed to play,
it would give him a much-needed sense of belonging and some confidence to
be accepted by others in spite of his handicaps.

Shay's father approached one of the boys on the field and asked if Shay
could play, not expecting much. The boy looked around for guidance and said,
"We're losing by six runs and the game is in the eighth inning. I guess he
can be on our team and we'll try to put him in to bat in the ninth inning."
Shay struggled over to the team's bench put on a team shirt with a broad
smile and his Father had a small tear in his eye and warmth in his heart.
The boys saw the father's joy at his son being accepted. In the bottom of
the eighth inning, Shay's team scored a few runs but was still behind by
three. In the top of the ninth inning, Shay put on a glove and played in
the right field. Even though no hits came his way, he was obviously ecstatic
just to be in the game and on the field, grinning from ear to ear as his
father waved to him from the stands. In the bottom of the ninth inning,
Shay's team scored again. Now, with two outs and the bases loaded, the
potential winning run was on base and Shay was scheduled to be next at bat.

At this juncture, do they let Shay bat and give away their chance to win the
game? Surprisingly, Shay was given the bat. Everyone knew that a hit was all
but impossible 'cause Shay didn't even know how to hold the bat properly,
much less connect with the ball. However, as Shay stepped up to the plate,
the pitcher, recognizing the other team putting winning aside for this
moment in Shay's life, moved in a few steps to lob the ball in softly so
Shay could at least be able to make contact. The first pitch came and Shay
swung clumsily and missed. The pitcher again took a few steps forward to
toss the ball softly towards Shay. As the pitch came in, Shay swung at the
ball and hit a slow ground ball right back to the pitcher.

The game would now be over, but the pitcher picked up the soft grounder and
could have easily thrown the ball to the first baseman. Shay would have been
out and that would have been the end of the game. Instead, the pitcher threw
the ball right over the head of the first baseman, out of reach of all team
mates. Everyone from the stands and both teams started yelling, "Shay, run
to first! Run to first!"

Never in his life had Shay ever ran that far but made it to first base. He
scampered down the baseline, wide-eyed and startled. Everyone yelled, "Run
to second, run to second!" Catching his breath, Shay awkwardly ran towards
second, gleaming and struggling to make it to second base. By the time Shay
rounded towards second base, the right fielder had the ball, the smallest
guy on their team, who had a chance to be the hero for his team for the
first time. He could have thrown the ball to the second-baseman for the
tag, but he understood the pitcher's intentions and he too intentionally
threw the ball high and far over the third-baseman's head. Shay ran toward
third base deliriously as the runners ahead of him circled the bases toward
home.

All were screaming, "Shay, Shay, Shay, all the Way Shay" Shay reached third
base, the opposing shortstop ran to help him and turned him in the direction
of third base, and shouted, "Run to third! Shay, run to third" As Shay
rounded third, the boys from both teams and those watching were on their
feet were screaming, "Shay, run home! Shay ran to home, stepped on the
plate, and was cheered as the hero who hit the "grand slam" and won the game
for his team.

That day, said the father softly with tears now rolling down his face, the
boys from both teams helped bring a piece of true love and humanity into
this world. Shay didn't make it to another summer and died that winter,
having never forgotten being the hero and making his Father so happy and
coming home and seeing his Mother tearfully embrace her little hero of the
day!

AND, NOW A LITTLE FOOTNOTE TO THIS STORY:
We all send thousands of jokes through the e-mail without a second thought,
but when it comes to sending messages about life choices, people think twice
about sharing. The crude, vulgar, and often obscene pass freely through
cyberspace, but public discussion about decency is too often suppressed in
our schools and workplaces.

If you're thinking about forwarding this message, chances are that you're
probably sorting out the people on your address list that aren't the
"appropriate" ones to receive this type of message. Well, the person who
sent you this believes that we all can make a difference. We all have
thousands of opportunities every single day to help realize the "natural
order of things." So many seemingly trivial interactions between two people
present us with a choice: Do we pass along a little spark of love and
humanity or do we pass up that opportunity to brighten the day of those with
us the least able, and leave the world a little bit colder in the process?

A wise man once said every society is judged by how it treats it's least
fortunate amongst them. May your day be a Shay Day sunny today & always ......


"NOT ALL SMILES COMES IN A FORM OF JOKES"

performance evaluation

have you ever been given a performance assessment?
i am up to one via long distance.

my boss just went to canada where he really is based, but he mentioned couple of times that i am near my evaluation time. although he mentioned the perks that are attendant of a good management review, i still have apprehensions for i believe that given my 3-month stay in the company, i still could have done lots better...and i mean it.

i really don't know if it was the lack of time. for i feel, that given the privilege and the love, the trust, the confidence this company has given me...i could go into a 24/7 overdrive but still feel unaccomplished. i knew that there were times i would have given up given the toll of the job and the expectations...there were times i would just fall on our sofa, sitting down, snoring for the life of me because of exhaustion...there were times i would love to jump by the balcony as it happens that my subordinate is one heck of a loser on the job.

but truthfully said, it all comes to pass.
the one upstairs compensates for what has been utterly unpaid for on earth.

i know that it would be highly impossible [tho' not highly improbable] for things to go undeserved and unrecognized in reality, but your time will definitely come. you just hang on there.

for the love of my current position, i have taken risks. i know that there are still a lot of things to be done, to be proven, to be repeated, to be wary of...but that is life.

and i realized that work is just a fraction of life. it must not be the other way around. in the 3 months that i've stayed on envelope pushing, i have realized that one's life must never be taken over by any thing. it was very counterproductive on me. i was getting sicker, getting slovenly by the minute, and i hated it. because truth be told, i love what i am doing.

i love my work.
*hate to admit it.

to answer what the premise was of this post, i don't know really what the assessment will specifically mention. on my end, i will still work my ass off, try to learn as much, much more and try to be the best manager i could ever be, be a team player and make the difference both in impact and velocity.

'tis december

imagine that, i missed one month of any posts...as in.

it's my favorite time of the year again. not only because i stand to gain another round of bonuses [which isn't big by the way] but this month is really very special, very dear to me.

i have always thought of december as the month for relationships: be it family, friendship, work, romantic, whathaveyous...

for the past few years, i have always attempted to set up a very well laid out christmas dinner. but, as described, attempted.

during MGC days, i didn't have money to spare. last year with CVG, i didn't have time to spare. most likely, with XMG this year, i won't have a worry about both. i dearly pray to prepare something sumptuous this time around.

i want to have the complete set-up: cutlery, glasswares, soup, appetizer, salad, entree, dessert, coffee etc.

our house is even repainted!!! at long last, my dream of a mango yellow interior. i just wish my darling sister ling-ling won't scribble something somewhere...bwahahaha...

ahhh, a december of memories again. thank you lord for another round. :) piace

being back

my blogspot has been a BLANK page for the life of me. i didn't know what happened but i just republished it and i think it's back.

oh well.

i wish i would have some energy to really devote some more time to update my posts. but nah...

had a fun fun gimik at last!!! ays initiated and mistress, slacker, rj-san, vince and ann [they need to be together you see] and raymond as well [passed by smelling well of Clinique Happy, ahehehehe].

first, an almost round trip ride from ayala to quiapo then mabini in ermita. hap tian was where the chow was, and we did rounds of singing. mistress and me, vince tried 2 songs [what a good voice to boot!] and the revelation was slacker who sang and backed-up the choruses. ahehehehee.

then off to baywalk.

times like these make me realize more how short and fleeting life can be. how i really wish i would have my own business instead so i can leisurely determine my times off.

am thinking of a bazaar to start off my wishes into realities.

love you guys. so much. keeping me sane and everything. making me laugh.

we will be there i am sure...we ALL will be.

time management

yeah, i did it again.

but before anything else, slacker, hapee berdey...ahehehehe.

gosh, i have gone one month, one WHOLE F**ng month without an entry.

huwaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

i was thinking of this blog title for a while now. for i suck on it, i admit...

oh well.

taking on this new career is eating up my existence. but that's a good trade-off, i think. not having enough time for one's self is a good problem to think of. instead of you trying to busy yourself with some things, this is as good as it gets. i am always working.

that's the main reason why i resolved that if it's monday to friday, it will ALL be about work, my job, my career, my company and OUR clients.

BUT

for weekends, it's La Salle on Saturdays and Japanese [Anata wa Eigo wakarimasu ka] on Sundays for me.

argggghhhhhhhhhhhh

i made this decision and i will abide by it. nyehehehehehehehe...
my new job is a damn real challenge. my body aches, i lack sleep, no social life, no book life, no koreanovela life, not much rest...lots of pressure, lots of stuff to do, lots of concerns, lots of emails, lots of privileges.

oh well...life ain't easy man. not that i wish it were, it would be a bore.

i miss all the friends i gained at CVG...really.
whew.

time management...one month went without a blog...lots of stuff to do.
keep praying me :)

going for bust

hey guys out there, give this site a try and get a kick. it's about your ability to take chances without getting caught. rate your wandering eye.

go ahead and enjoy!

to begin with, we don't have any

[**original complete title of this should be:
thank God, we don't have any problems with love...
to begin with, we don't have any]


i think i countlessly enthused that i was, am and forever will be a joe d'mango copycat. i even try to sound just like him and pretend i am in a radio booth dispensing advice to countless faceless letter senders. hey, i even try to read much into his weekly sunday column in phil. daily inquirer.

maybe it's because i do admit i am a true blue LT, or lehitimong tsismoso, in real and reel [as if] life.

anyways, this was the statement shared by slacker and was asked of me to advice on:


"how can one ever continue being friends with somebody, when everytime you look at that person all you can think of is how much you want to be more than friends?"

ahhhh love, inlababo, in luhrv, pag-ibig, pagmamahal, libido, libog [ika nga ng guro ko nu'ng sekundarya, pagnanasang makalupa ng dalawang taong nagmamahalan...sus, seks lang naman pala in ader words].

l-o-v-e.

i guess continuance of friendship will depend on the depth of relationship they have as individuals. the length and breadth of it AND if the ties that bind is stronger than what could happen after one of the two said "i love you." then the frienship will even be strengthened. those 2 factors will be the crux of the matter.

it has always been easier had it been that the feelings were mutual, no problem at all. but if only one party is feeling the emotion and the other is stranger to it, then the more resentment will build up if after saying the 3 worded statement the person being told will say, "can we be just friends?"

ouch.

why? simply because as friends, then later as the friend falling in love, we at times place special contexts/connotations to acts which, had it been otherwise, are normal for friends. the kisses on the cheeks, the gift for your birthday, the hugs, the pasalubongs after a trip, the texts of sweet nothings, the silent moments for just the two of you after a heart-to-heart talk, the laughter in the rain, the stares you have for each other after a laughing fit.

all these would be "i thought" moments for you. since, of course, it is a given that you have always wondered if your feelings have been reciprocated even for just one moment. but the sad reality is that, being in love, puts our logic awry and we tend to analyse things for more than what it is actually.

as dang would say it, "dude, walang isyu."

the intensity of being in love makes us irrational in thinking that being snubbed was for a reason. then again, were we really snubbed?

more so with friends who have had shared histories of being together: physically and emotionally.

now this is the second crucial stage, how does the rejected party feel after being told such? now that will define how the relationship between them will prosper, if at all. say, it can take time before the rejected person will get over it. there is no hard and fast rule here. the rejecting person, on the other hand, may either be so solicitous, the rejected one would feel being sympathized on or worse, being patronized for being such a stupid person who's in love with a friend.

or, the rejecting person will be doing a cold treatment, as in dedma to death, about what has transpired.

me? i don't know which is worse, being there for the rejected friend or not at all. again, this will be based on the personality of the jilted person .

because with others, for example, kris aquino, would want to cry her heart out just to be so pathetic about it and move on. she would admit crying bucketful of tears over mushy love songs over and over till her lachrymal glands have dried up. although, having gone through lots of unrequited love, kris would be very knowledgeable already about this. she is now an expert for falling over and over with committed lovers.

how about, regine velasquez with her ariel rivera? she said, he broke up with her only over the phone...and what she did was hope for a tad bit but when she realized that he loved the other she more, she decided to immerse herself to work and just forget about it. working even with ariel himself in an extended tour in the states with the other she. of course it can't be helped that ariel had glances or look that he was so sorry for what happened. maybe for regine by not recognizing the hurt over and over, it would make her better off.

now what do you think?

book binge

i really don't know what it is with books that i am always enthralled by the beauty of prose or engaged into pushing all of them into the cashier counter for check-outs.

i always end up financially poorer but always lots of knowledge wealthier.

good thing there's always recto, cubao, booksale, grand central, and hey! even SM gave me a good load of mah fave, maeve binchy when i was sooo pissed off one fine afternoon. i ended up buying 2 hardbounds of hers, scarlet feather and tara road and one paperback by herman wuok, of war and remembrance.

now the availability of books in PDF makes me salivate, i am drooling.

books, books, books. my only vaunted vice in life [apart from singing and eating...they're exceptions. the former is a gift i need to share while the former is a physiological need i have to sustain...bwahahahaha].

maybe i used to be ptolemy or nebuchadnezzar or even beauty belle's beast in previous lifetimes.



p.s. next time, i may have enough time, while sipping strawb' n' cream Starbucks, to devote entries of how i intercoursed [???] with each author. with each act, satisfying for both, and gainfully stimulating enough, for rounds upon rounds of parchment cavorting.

talasalitaan

i got this from Heinz's blogspot. he used to be my cool, cool editor for a lifestyle insert and was he the most awesome!!!

i always say this, there are editors who are sooo frustrated writers that they change lots of sentences, paragraphs in your copy that it ends up, it was they who wrote it.

ahehehehe...i should know. i came from one. not Heinz of course, the other one [**for the non-MGC initiated].

read this up, it's fun.

[**celine lopez would roll over laughing with this...as if we're close and she reads my blog]


Made up words
The Washington Post's Mensa Invitational once again asked readers to take any word from the dictionary, alter it by adding, subtracting, or changing one letter, and supply a new definition. Here are the 2005 winners:

1. Intaxication: Euphoria at getting a tax refund, which lasts until you realize it was your money to start with.

2. Reintarnation: Coming back to life as a hillbilly.

3. Bozone (n.): The substance surrounding stupid people that stops bright ideas from penetrating. The bozone layer, unfortunately, shows little sign of breaking down in the near future.

4. Foreploy: Any misrepresentation about yourself for the purpose of getting laid.

5. Cashtration (n.): The act of buying a house, which renders the subject financially impotent for an indefinite period.

6. Giraffiti: Vandalism spray-painted very, very high.

7. Sarchasm: The gulf between the author of sarcastic wit and the person who doesn't get it.

8. Inoculatte: To take coffee intravenously when you are running late.

9. Hipatitis: Terminal coolness.

10. Osteopornosis: A degenerate disease. (This one got extra credit.)

11. Karmageddon: It's like, when everybody is sending off all these really bad vibes, right? And then, like, the Earth explodes and it's like, a serious bummer.

12. Decafalon (n.): The grueling event of getting through the day consuming only things that are good for you.

13. Glibido: All talk and no action.

14. Dopeler effect: The tendency of stupid ideas to seem smarter when they come at you rapidly.

15. Arachnoleptic fit (n.): The frantic dance performed just after you've accidentally walked through a spider web.

16. Beelzebug (n.): Satan in the form of a mosquito, that gets into your bedroom at three in the morning and cannot be cast out.

17. Caterpallor (n.): The color you turn after finding half a worm in the fruit you're eating.

And the overall winner:

18. Ignoranus: A person who's both stupid and an asshole.

change, change, change

can you just believe this?

is this what they call a sign? when i was informed i had a message from this site, i immediately clicked on it to see what inspirational piece was sent me.

this is something.

i mean, my wavemates [who are soooooo dear to me, very] and i have been discussing, chatting, soliciting opinions about this topic for weeks/months now.

guys, take note of this:
The challenges, which can include stepping into unfamiliar territory, going back to school, or learning to live on less income, are very real

we can relate, damn right?

if this were not in any way divine nor providential, i don't know what is anymore.

Embarking On A New Path
Changing Careers
What we do for a living can be intimately intertwined with who we are. Often, people expect to grow and thrive in one career over a period of decades. For others, however, that expectation is unrealistic. As they themselves change, they become dissatisfied with the profession that once brought them joy. This is not unusual in modern times, where more and more people are changing careers not just once, but many times over the course of their lives. Because your career is a part of who you are, switching to another can be a long and involved process that requires courage and determination. The challenges, which can include stepping into unfamiliar territory, going back to school, or learning to live on less income, are very real, but the rewards can trump them. Changing careers, if done thoughtfully, can be one of the most richly satisfying and exciting experiences of your life.

If for years your soul has been telling you that you would make a skilled lawyer, a talented sculptor, or a brilliant electrical engineer, it's worth investigating the possibilities. Or, you may be desirous of a more soulful and fulfilling career but haven't figured out what it is yet. In either case, explore. If you have identified a passion, research it. Talk to people in that field and find out how they got there. Ask about the ups and the downs. If you're unsure of a career path you might like to pursue, look toward your passions, abilities, hobbies, and values. Determine what your ideal work hours, income, commute time, and working situation would be. If you love the idea of flexible hours or working from home, decide whether you would be willing to earn less as a trade off. Look for careers that offer the type of work environment and benefits you are looking for. Creating a new future takes time and effort, and a willingness to delve deep into the positives and negatives of a variety of careers.

Focus on your strengths, rather than skills you may be lacking. Seeking skill training or the help of a career counselor can be helpful. It's normal to be nervous when seeking out a new career, particularly if you are established in your current profession. But the payoff can be true satisfaction in finding work that you can love, and, it's never too late for change.

asia's songbird

how else will one want to title this entry?

i never know when i will get over my adolescent infatuation and deepest admiration for this chanteuse.

perhaps, she has exemplified that true talent doesn't stop being talented. they work hard and long hours to get to their stations in life right now. nothing, not even with someone showered with immense gifts, is easy in life.

as they say, if we face hardships and adversities, be thankful. it only means we are in the track of preparing ourselves to become the better us.


haaaaaaaaaaaaay, regina encarnacion ansong velasquez. muy ultima diva para mi.

un momento en mi vida

this may the best and closest expression of how i am feeling right now. without giving too much away [although 4 closest peeps would already know the details] i think i have gotten grip already of how am faring right now. i had ambivalent emotions to be truthful, i may just have been overwhelmed still of everything that was put on the table. i also am very much aware of the awesome responsibility as well. there was an instance, believe you me, that i would have wanted to call the person back and say, "hey wait, i think i changed my mind."

but i guess, there really are decisions, and there are hard decisions we must face up to eventually. much as i would have wanted to stay in my comfort zone, there really are moments we have to seize and claim, "this is mine."

apart from owning up to the truth that in my case, there is a larger reason for everything. i am not thinking solely of my own future here. this decision is definitely bigger than i am [just imagine that, bigger than me...] and even if it does scare me out of my wits, being given this tremendous responsibility has to be looked at as blessings. to be asked by a greater Power that i have to be somebody and carry on for my family must be looked at as the greatest opportunity to be the best in the eyes of the Lord, to be an inspiration for others, to repay even in my littlest way [for one can NEVER ever repay even half of ] the love my daddy, mama, kuya and kid sister ling-ling has outpoured on me.

this day, this moment is theirs. it will never be mine.


This is the Moment
This is the moment!
This is the day,
When I send all my doubts and demons
On their way!

Every endeavor,
I have made - ever -
Is coming into play,
Is here and now - today!

This is the moment,
This is the time,
When the momentum and the moment
Are in rhyme!

Give me this moment -
This precious chance -
I'll gather up my past
And make some sense at last!

This is the moment,
When all I've done -
All the dreaming,
Scheming and screaming,
Become one!

This is the day -
See it sparkle and shine,
When all I've lived for
Becomes mine!

For all these years,
I've faced the world alone,
And now the time has come
To prove to them
I've made it on my own!

This is the moment -
My final test -
Destiny beckoned,
I never reckoned,
Second Best!

I won't look down,
I must not fall!
This is the moment,
The sweetest moment of them all!

This is the moment!
Damn all the odds!
This day, or never,
I'll sit forever
With the gods!

When I look back,
I will always recall,
Moment for moment,
This was the moment,
The greatest moment
Of them all!

being confrontational

having had several moments of confronting people i love, i used to love, i hate, i used to hate...yeah, definitely, i am one confrontational person. i noticed that i vary the way i confront people with their issues with me, my issues with them, our issues altogether.

most likely, it would be a one-on-one personal encounter, although there was one just recently which happened in between gasps.........of a computer keyboard [read: chatting].

i agree with what was said here [as usual]. i guess, it would really be dependent on the people involved. i do select, but of course, the people i confront issues with. most likely, it's either i really am damn close to the person OR i do feel i need to make an exception in his/her case. i believe that whatever gifts we have, we can share [it's not obligatory]. it just so happened that if i felt bothered by it, then it must be that necessary for that person to hear what i have to say.


highlights would be:
It can be easier to overlook a problem than to confront the individual behind it.

...confrontation, when handled in a calm and timely fashion, can be an act of caring.


Being Frank
Constructive Confrontation
Pointing out a fault or misstep in someone is often uncomfortable, draining, or stressful. It can be easier to overlook a problem than to confront the individual behind it. But just as everything in the universe has a positive and negative side, confrontation can be beneficial when handled one way or detrimental when handled in another way. If you accept that there is no winner or loser in a confrontation, and that it is merely a step in reaching a constructive solution, you can harness confrontation as a means of inspiring positive change. Sometimes the only way to show a person how they are doing you or themselves harm is to candidly express the consequences of their actions. In fact, confrontation, when handled in a calm and timely fashion, can be an act of caring.

If you find you shy away from confrontation, seeing it as an opportunity to help someone else may make it more bearable. To be willing to confront someone demonstrates your desire to maintain an open discourse with them, even if they don't initially see it as such. Naturally, in confronting someone, because you are openly discussing negative aspects of their behavior, you run the risk of offending them. But there are steps you can take to remove the sting from a confrontation. Remember that confrontation is nothing more than an opportunity for frank communication. Prepare beforehand by compiling a mental list of the facts surrounding the issue behind the confrontation. You may want to rehearse your opening statement to yourself, if it will make you feel more at ease. Finally, after discussing the behavior you are unhappy with in clear terms, give the other person a chance to respond without interrupting.

Maintaining a calm demeanor can turn a confrontation into a constructive conversation. Positive confrontation can be a learning experience for both parties, because it involves openly and bravely facing an issue. When most effective, both parties will come away from a confrontation feeling satisfied that they can move forward, changed for the better.

mah worth is gold

again this inspiring article about loving ourselves as we are, chaff and grain.

highlights would be:

Everyone has worth, but the source of that worth is individual.

Learning to stop comparing yourself to others begins with accepting your worth, because your own acceptance is the most important.

sometimes, truths or denials are easier accepted when it would be others whose situations these would be found. but if it is within us, many find it hard. is it because it is closer to home? there would really be moments that we either would just be transfixed with some thoughts, taking it in. neither confirming nor denying such existing and realized fact.

it was and never will be wrong for us to take pride in ourselves. aretha f. would even freakin' belt that it is deeper love. i think, most Filipinos were brought up not to be boastin' greatness, yes, i agree that is best. but somehow, in tempering such self-love, we have greatly reduced our reflex to beam beside our accomplishments.

that is why a lot of us would want to look beyond our shoulders, beyond our gates and even spend beyond our means. for we never clearly assessed and appreciated that we have GIFTS that others would pay blood just to have even a half of it. for me, i have been blessed with a great childhood and the best family.

there was a time that i overlooked that fact. exposed to classmates who have all materially [not that i was deprived of it. there really would be somebody richer than we are], i thought, i never had enough clothes, enough allowance, enough vacation places, enough cars. but i did have my comeuppance [definition: just desserts].

as i was telling dang d' SPOC, [20:53] giocvg: yan n nga lang talaga yata ang magiging yaman nating totoo [our families would be the only riches we can claim truly ours].


Focusing On The Best You
Comparing Yourself To Others
Each of us has been blessed with unique qualities. No one else has lived through precisely the same circumstances, possesses exactly the same qualities, or thinks just the same thoughts. We love, appreciate, and hold dear vastly different things. Because of this, it is nearly impossible to justly compare oneself to others and yet so many people stake their happiness on how they fare when measured against a neighbor, a coworker, a sibling, or Hollywood star. It is easy to think that if you had her eyes, his house, her job, or his money, that you'd be truly happy. Your value as a person has little to do with what you look like or what you possess and comparing yourself to someone else denies your own wonderful gifts and talents. Everyone has worth, but the source of that worth is individual. Learning to stop comparing yourself to others begins with accepting your worth, because your own acceptance is the most important.

Regularly assessing your worth in terms of other people's gifts, be they talent, money, looks, or material wealth, can lead to dissatisfaction, even when you're on top of your game. It's important to remember that you are you and will always be you, not someone else. Your individuality is something to take pride in. When you get the urge to compare yourself to someone else, meditate on the fact that you are lovable, capable, and special the way you are. Instead of focusing on traits you don't possess, and others do, or vice versa, concentrate on what you yourself have. You may be a great painter, very funny, or physically fit. Or you may be exceptionally organized, a capable parent, or profoundly patient. Usually, when we compare ourselves to others, we come out feeling devalued. In noting the positive differences both in yourself and the other party, you appreciate and foster distinctiveness.

The gifts which you have been given can be used for the benefit of everyone you come into contact with. Realizing and embracing such a concept enables you to focus on bringing out the best in yourself, so that you can celebrate your own achievements as well as those of others.

blog hopping

i was clicking on Next Blog found on the top right hand portion of every blog screen and i was amused and bemused [definition: to be engrossed in thought] by this entry by a male nurse in massachusetts for his digital doorway blogspot.

So for my forties, I will relinquish martyrdom and the "shoulds" which continue to plague me. I will embrace my adultness and retain my youth. I will examine myself closely, change that which cries out for change, and develop that which calls for growth and expansion. I will be good to my body, rest well, and keep my mind active and engaged. I will seek to foster my own creativity, and use that creativity in a way which engenders further self-exploration. I will honor my own needs in relationships, nurture current relationships well, and develop new ones only when they feel right, not because I feel that I should. I will also begin to let go of those relationships which no longer serve, a process which can be painful and difficult.

i guess, some things, long held beliefs, will go on changing as we grow older. this person cited a lot in his blog about his perceptions when he was still younger and how they were now realized to be unfounded, or should we say, inapplicable. but for me, it really is supposed to be that way. all our perceptions, feelings, sentiments, dramas, prejudices, loves, hates in life in a particular time are all valid. they should never question that. we, ourselves, may question those but not other people. for all those abstract nouns served their purpose for that time.

as slacker would have it, fear not death, only unlived life.

i am one of the "6 in 1,000"

having had wondered what my IQ level was like, i again submitted myself to the torture of taking the tickle test for IQ. this is their claim:

Welcome to Tickle's Super IQ Test — the most accurate, comprehensive, and thorough intelligence assessment of its kind and an in-depth version of our famous Classic IQ Test. Previously offered only to corporations, schools, and certified professionals -this highly accurate intelligence assessment test is now available to you directly from Tickle.

In addition to measuring your IQ, the Super IQ Test also assesses how well you score in 8 different areas of intelligence to uncover your key intellectual strengths and what they reveal about you.

Developed by PhDs, our exclusive Super IQ test is free, private, and reflects the best research available.


this is my results:
Your overall intelligence quotient is the result of a scientifically-tested formula based on how many questions you answered correctly. But it's only part of what we learned about you from your answers on the test. We also determined the way you process information.

The way you think about things makes you a Creative Theorist. This means you are a highly intelligent, complex person. You are able to process information of nearly every kind with ease, using both creativity and analysis to make sense of the world. Compared to others you also have a very rich imagination.
How did we determine that your thinking style is that of a Creative Theorist? When we examined your test results further, we analyzed how you scored on 8 dimensions of intelligence: spatial, organizational, abstract reasoning, logical, mechanical, verbal, visual and numerical. The 3 dimensions you scored highest on combine to make you a Creative Theorist. Only 6 out of 1,000 people have this rare combination of abilities.


goodness. mah goodness. my time spent cavorting our guidance counsellor has again PAID OFF handsomely [**how i wish this were in any half-way true].

just the same, it was nice knowing how i fared off. naks, something i will tell lingling, mah beloved sister, about her kuya.


p.s. i wonder if i'd buy the comprehensive results about this...for all we know, they're giving this results to almost everybody...hehehe, hi tickle! ;p

que horror

aren't we silly when we watch horror films and scream our lungs out like there's no tomorrow? i'd admit that for horror genre i always make an exception to my rule of watching in cinema houses. you see, weird that i am, i don't watch blockbusters in moviehouses. i'd rather wait for a good pirated DVD of the film and watch at home. why bother with the fare, the tickets, the food etc when you can enjoy it just the same [or at most times, enjoy it more] at the privacy of your own house?

but with horror films [and some sci-fi's] i make an exception. it never beats the fun of screaming over and over for something that you'd half-expect from those films.

somebody sent me this horror site, yours for the picking.

be safe...bwahahahahahaha [imagine count dracula for this]



p.s. when you visit the site, be sure your lights are off and you're all alone...the monitor's glow is more than enough.

the art of listening

in most times i guess, we only hear what our family, our friend, the environment is telling us. worse we only even just hear ourselves and even God. but have you once asked yourself if you really listened? again this article below illustrates that we must listen. not only with what was spoken, but more on what wasn't...

this captures its entirety: Sometimes, being a good listener means listening to the silence in between words.

words is cheap.

Listening With An Open Heart
Being A Good Listener
Everyone appreciates a good listener. We all know how wonderful it is to be able to have someone to share our life with, whether it is the joys and frustrations of being a new parent, the excitement of a new career, the heartache of a lost love, or simple chitchat. At times, we all want and need to be heard. It is equally important then that we develop the skills to lend a helping ear to others.

Being a good listener means being an active listener by being fully present when someone is talking to you. Making eye contact when someone is speaking helps to connect us to one another. It also keeps us focused on what is being saying, rather than what we are thinking. We need to not only hear words, but also to read body language and understand feelings. It goes without saying that we shouldn't interrupt someone when they are talking, or to judge and criticize, but often we fall into such habits without being conscious of them. By being fully present when someone is speaking we are better able to simply listen and give advice only if we are asked.

We don't have to agree with everything or anything that is being said, but listening with an open mind is respectful to the speaker and it allows us to understand the other person and ourselves better. By letting go of assumptions and hearing what is being said, as well as the tone of voice the speaker is using, we can better understand our differences and perhaps find some similarities.

Reflect back to the speaker that you understand and empathize with their feelings of happiness, anxiety, and/or sadness. Ask questions if you don't understand, but respect boundaries if the speaker seems uncomfortable. Sometimes, being a good listener means listening to the silence in between words. Being a good listener is easy - simply listen with your ears, as well as your heart.

what kind of "something" are you?

took lots of tests in the tickle site and had all these results for your reading pleasure. some are definitive of who i am and some aren't [zeus as a sex god?]. but it's fun and entertaining [imagine lenny kravitz, **drool]. i don't know, i'm pretty much used to taking exams and personality tests that even before high school i already have configured a way of having mah way in achieving the results i wanted. i do remember that i was given a method by mah grade school guidance counsellor on checking the exams. but of course, i won't tell how. TRADE SECRET. ahehehehe.

i suppose there really is "something" in each of us. for those who are at a loss, these tests will help you in finding that something lost someplace somehow. but for many? nah, i think taking these tests will prove once again, that in all of us, we kinda figured out already how to get the personality results some are cracking their heads figuring out how.

here are my results:


who is my movie star double?

Gio, your movie star double is Benjamin Bratt

A magnetic man like you needs to be played by someone who knows how to get an audience's attention — and keep it. That's why Benjamin Bratt would be a great leading man in the movie of your life. Underneath your sometimes quieter demeanor, there's an undeniable attraction that draws people to you, your thoughts, and your ideals. There's just something about you that has people screaming for more. But that's a good thing since you probably thrive when you're being social, promoting your causes and getting out and about to see the world.

You've just got that celebrity quality that makes people applaud, whatever you do. Even if you don't match Benjamin's lady-melting looks, his mega-star glow will help translate your charisma to the silver screen.


what breed of dog are you?

Gio, you're a Irish Setter!


what cinderella story am i?

Gio, in your Cinderella story, you'd get to Live Happily Ever After

When it comes to setting goals, you're not afraid to reach high. How else would you explain wanting to be the belle of the ball, winning the heart of the prince, showing those evil stepsisters who's boss, and ruling the kingdom? You're a girl with goals, and you go after them.

Let's face it: You're not one to sit around and wait for life to happen. If the driver has the night off, you'd probably proudly take the reigns of your pumpkin coach and drive yourself to the party. You're not the type to have a team of servants at your beck and call although that wouldn't be so horrible, now would it? But if good ol' Prince Charming has anything to say about it, you won't have to lift a finger when you move into the castle together — unless you want to. And with your varied interests and natural drive to get what you want, you're sure to be true royalty in no time. And that's a happily ever after worth sharing.


what music star am i?

Gio, your music match is an Edgy Rock 'n' Roller

You don't need to be able to rock out on a guitar to have something in common with your musical match. Like bold rocker Lenny Kravitz, you've got a feisty and independent spirit that lets you march to the beat of your own drummer. And it's certainly no secret that you like to speak up and say what's on your mind.

Whether you're hanging at the skate park, playing games, or checking out the big game, you manage to bring a spicy flavor that's all your own. Maybe you've got your own funky flair for fashion. Perhaps your interests and ambition set you apart. Whatever it is, you're a trendsetter who's sure to make waves on your way to the top. You won't need to ask, "Are you gonna go my way?" Everyone will!


what movie am i?

Gio, if you were a movie, you'd be a Groundbreaking Documentary

If you think documentaries are boring, think again. Like your movie match, you're an intelligent individual who makes people think. Documentaries span all sorts of topics, from the trivial to the profound. Perhaps your interests do the same, but one thing's clear — you're a smarty and you like to learn.

We'd guess you're the person at the dinner table or the water cooler who stirs up lively debates about the latest news or tidbits from the Discovery Channel. Part of you probably gets a kick out of creating controversy and getting people fired up about their beliefs. Another part probably likes opening people's eyes and sharing your thoughts. And for that, you get two thumbs up for trying to get to the bottom of things and making waves!


what celebrity smile am i?

Gio, your celebrity smile style is Mischievous Like Angelina

Angelina may be best known for her bee-stung lips, but it's her sly, sexy smile that we can't take our eyes off of. Like Angelina, you've been known to have a wilder side, and your playful ways always keep 'em guessing.

Whether you are trying to seduce a flame, tell an intriguing story, or convince a boardroom, you tend to keep your cards close to your chest. You prefer to maintain control of most situations, and keeping an air of mystery around you is the best way to do it. Don't worry, we won't tell.


who’s my celebrity soulmate?

Gio, your celebrity soul mate is someone who's Sizzling

Even if you're not Hollywood's hottest star (yet), we can tell you've got the potential to turn heads nonetheless. Whether you're in the spotlight or helping out behind the scenes, it's clear that you've got an understated allure underneath that sometimes-quiet exterior.

So who's right to play the part of your leading co-star? Only a hot ticket with sex appeal and sultry style to spare can keep up with a rising star like you. A stunner like Charlize Theron has the brains, beauty, and talent to be your match. From awards shows to dinner dates at swanky hot spots, you'll be the latest "It" couple to add sizzle to Tinseltown. Just tell your agent you're looking for someone sizzling to co-star in your love life, and you'll be sure to find them. And that's a wrap.


who am I as an american idol?

Gio, you're a Wild Card

On stage or off, people never seem to know what you'll do next. And that's the way you like it. A fan of surprises, spontaneity, and individuality, your free spirit helps keep things interesting and others guessing.

Whether you're making your own dance moves or creating a groundbreaking new look, it's clear that none of the judges will be able to pin down your impulsive energy and enthusiasm. And your style and spirit is sure to rub off on other people - especially once you're in the limelight. So keep marching to the beat of your own drummer — others are sure to follow.


who am i as a sex god?

Hark - the oracle speaks! A bolt of lightning falls from the sky! SHAZAAM! As the smoke clears, the hidden deity in you emerges and is revealed to be:

ZEUS, God of Thunder.

Like a ten-megaton bomb, you drop from the sky and into the arms of your lovers. Seduction is not just a simple game for you, it's a way of life. With your handsome looks and masculine charms, you wow the ladies until all resistance has worn away. As ruler of the gods, you like to remain in control of your relationships. From casual discussions to techniques in the bedroom, you like to call the shots. You may have many admirers, but you might tend to fall a little short on some virtues -- such as fidelity. Your mind wanders at the slightest provocation. You have been known to have several women on your mind (and in your bed) at once. But, hey, with such powerful feelings thundering inside, you need to spread your love around, right? What's certain is that once you get busy, your godly nature starts working overtime. As you perform your magic, that special someone will know exactly why they call you a true sex god.

crimson room

hahaha!!! had a patience-testing time with this test. i will just lift verbatim what has been posted from Michelle's site.

i think what really made me go on un-quitting is that SOME people have arrived to the solution and my pride won't afford me to carry on life that i haven't given this mah best shot. if others have done it, why not me, right? beside, i am an aquarian, i am supposed to get this. hahahaha!!!

CRIMSON ROOM
Dear Friends

here is an extremely difficult IQ puzzle for you to solve. only 4000 People in the whole world can figure it out so if you do escape from the room then you are a genius. there are 13 objects for you to find in order to escape from the room.details are as follows:There are 13 items hidden in this room in order to let you get out of this room. If you found:
0-6 items, your IQ is very low, total idiot
6-8 items, Low IQ, u r an idiot 9-10 items, u r normal
11-12 items, your IQ is high, above the average.
13 items found and get out of the room,
there are less than 4000 people in the world can do it.

i'm NOW officially part of the escapers list. ahehehehe.

click here to give it a try.

nothing lasts forever

i have time and again, encountered another article that espouses the common observation that no similar wealth is passed on to the third generation. what they commonly presupposes is that the 1st generation starts everything and builds the empire; the 2nd generation would of course continue building it further and being born to riches, would want power as well; and the third generation, experiencing no hardwork and responsibilities for the immense wealth and power surrounding them, would either be inclined to philantrophy or worse, and usually, squander all the riches and collapse the empire to the ground.

examples would be the Kennedys and Rockefellers of the west. chinese families have been the ones illustrated in the article here. i would have mentioned filipino families but they have mostly used up their affluence into politics. i remember my father mentioning the Laurels and Rectos of batangas as illustrative of these cases.

what i am not getting, and the constant reproach i would address my father too with his tracts of land, is that no one person can hold on to a bit of earth for 100 years. it is too selfish and too presumptuous on anybody to claim that since this piece of land has been given by our ancestors, only our bloodline has the right to keep it.

i am of course not egging all of us to sell short our lands in a moment's notice. it is that we should view such privilege and blessing as that of a steward. we make most of what there is to make such properties productive. if we are able to make our lives self-sustaining by such, it is good. if we are able to help other people become self-sustaining, it is much better.

why keep something to yourself for the rest of this earth's lifetime?


A Tradition Haunting the Third Generation Chinese


Take a stroll along Dasmariñas and Juan Luna Streets with your grandfather and he will be pointing to you the familiar landmarks. “That is the Uy Chaco Building and we had just passed the old Yutivo Building”. You will hear him reminisce about the great Chinese businessmen of the yesteryears.

The Mabasa, UyChaco, Roxas-Chua, Uy Su Bin, Uytivo, Chualimco and many more names sound puzzling and unfamiliar to you. To answer your question: “Where are their successors?” invariably the reply is “Chinese business does not pass the third generation.”

Simply put, it is said that the great wealth of Chinese businessmen do not pass on to their third generation or grandchildren. In their places, we now see the new waves of Lucio Tan, George Ty, Tony Tancaktiong, Henry Sy and John Gokongwei, among others. Is there any truth in the saying?

The old Chinese refers to the children of the rich as “the second generation princes.” Included in this leisure class was my uncle on my mother’s side. Being the sole male heir in the family, he was spoiled by everyone. After my grandfather died, he skipped his gambling debtors and escaped to China. For 40 years, he continued living lavishly by selling his father’s huge landholdings. My mother can spend hours and hours telling me stories about this leisure class squandering their fathers’ fortune on gambling, opium, and women.

But the blame is not entirely on these “poor” descendants. The old patriarchs were staunch supporters (and eager practitioners) of polygamy. Although during their younger days their strong personalities control their many wives, bickering and quarreling among the different families gradually weakened the business structure. Finally, the squabbling for inheritances ended in court suits that benefited their lawyers and business competitors. I should know because my grandfather had seven wives.
Some self-proclaimed Freudian experts claimed that this curse was due to the children’s repressed feeling of hatred against the strict and autocratic rule of the patriarch. Holding the purse string enabled the “old man” to dictate on the lives of his children and arranged-marriage was the rule – some say even to this day. Others were tired of living under the shadows of their successful forebears. Subconsciously, they seek revenge by destroying what their fathers had built.

Undoubtedly, wealth brings a luxurious but soft lifestyle to the next generation. Wealth also brings prestige and power that often gave undeserving privileges to the children. Why would a teacher discipline or flunk the children of a school’s board of trustees? Sparing the rod, many grew up thinking that they are always right and lord over their subordinates and employees.

To insure the survival of his business to the third and even later generations, an old man carefully planned with his lawyers the succession structures of his group of companies. He hired the best consultants to protect his business empire against third party’s intrusion particularly his children’s in-laws. But few years after his death, the business started to deteriorate rapidly. Behind his back and colluding with outsiders, his sons were siphoning funds from the companies.

On a more rational analysis, social, technological and economic changes were the other factors responsible in leveling the playing field of wealth distribution. As timber resources depleted, lumber magnate gave way to plywood and then to plastic manufacturer. Population growth inhibited massive sugar exports and shopping malls changed the old retailing structure. The shift in commercial centre from Binondo and Divisoria to Makati and other suburbs also shifted the fortune of many.

A single generation spans a 20-30 years period thus two generations spread over 50 to 60 years. In half a century many changes occurred. Even the fortune of a country like Japan had undergone drastic changes from pre-war, WWII and to post-war periods. Inevitably, family fortunes follow this natural course too.

Jollibee burgers took over Mamonluk’s mami; SM mega mall replaces Berg’s and many other retailers; Asian brewery threatens San Miguel; Cebu Pacific challenges Philippine Air Line; and so on. Progress cannot be stopped and innovation knows no master. Who knows? With hard work and an entrepreneurial spirit, you may be the next Lucio Tan.

bid for your life

it is this. i have never known any such emotions existed in me before you. the images, flash in and out of my mind, never letting go. you had such power, such control. yet. i won't want to let go. for i have learned so much. i have realized so much.
that i have never loved much.
i thank you for that. i will remember you for that. i will love you forever for that.

all in.

why me?

there are moments in life wherein we ask ourselves, "how come this is happening to me?" we often go about the question over and over finding what could be possible answers. case in point, the position i was trying to aspire for didn't happen. all along thinking i had greater chances for it considering my background and experience on the floor.

it is never easy.

more so, reading this inspirational article below. up to now, i won't be superficial in saying that i have come to terms to what has befallen me. i have not yet definitely. and reading through this, it still is hard. although, it makes perfect sense. we must not judge what happens...just let it be. for in the meantime we just have to face reality and move onwards. hopefully--expecting nothing in the future--we find the answers to all our questions in the present.


Serenity Of Knowing
Acceptance
The world is a palette of varied beauty with subtle and not-so-subtle differences in brilliance and hue. But, like all we perceive subjectively, many things can fail to meet our expectations. People don't behave as we'd wish them to, situations turn out differently than we'd imagined, and the end result is often unhappiness. The remedy is acceptance - an open-minded, understanding perception that brings the serenity of knowing every individual, situation, or difficulty is unique and valuable in some way. It is a mode of respect for differences, of seeing beyond faults or disappointments and reaching contentment.

Though acceptance necessitates recognizing and acknowledging situations or attitudes that exist in the present, it does not imply that you need also give your approval. To approve or to disapprove is to judge, but in accepting, you simply understand that all situations and all people are in a constant state of flux. Likewise, each of us is also in the process of changing and by choosing to accept ourselves (in the past, present, and future); we can truly begin to understand who we really are. Acceptance is freedom from the need to retain preconceived notions, control of others, favored outcomes, or the anxiety that can come when the unexpected occurs. It is more than tolerance, though resisting the urge to react to the choices of others is a large part of the process. Rather it is a patience and gentleness that extends outward, beginning in one's own soul and extending to other people and the world at large.

Sometimes the process works in reverse because accepting others can be easier than accepting oneself, though the latter is the inevitable result of true acceptance. In fostering acceptance, the need to judge is quelled because the belief that others ought to live up to your expectations (or 'should thinking') is eliminated because everything is evolving and deserves to do so without interference. And in letting growth happen and understanding that each person, place, thing, or situation is as it is meant to be, a blissful quiet of the mind and strong feelings of worth can be realized.

all in

Living Exploration
Discovering What You Want Through Experience
The road to knowing what you want is often paved with many moments of learning what you don't want. This holds true in all areas of life, from work to love. Knowing and accepting this can give us the courage to keep moving forward when we might otherwise paralyze ourselves with fear of making a wrong move.

All too often, we expect ourselves to know in advance what will or won't work. But this would be like accepting an invitation with a new dance partner only if we are sure, before dancing with them, that we will want to dance with them forever. We need to accept the invitation without knowing where it will lead us. When we accept the invitation, what we are committing to is exploration.

It helps to remember that choices and decisions are not permanent or final actions. They are just the first steps in an unfolding process of inquiry. Many people go to school for one thing and end up in a completely different career path. This does not mean that they made a mistake by studying English Literature and then becoming a nurse. One thing leads to another in ways we can't always foresee.

Try to remain open and curious all along the way, asking questions. How does this feel? How could it be better? What changes can be made to improve the situation? With each modification, you move closer to creating exactly what you want. But remember, sometimes we need to experience what we don't want to determine what we do want.

I really find this thought-provoking. In most times, we try to squander efforts and time only if we are sure that our ROI for that is considerable. We have become too conservative in exploring life that we escape great opportunities, out of fear and insecurity.
I just find it surreal that I had a nice surprise on my way to the office. It was an invitation for me to be part of a company which operates worldwide. The company president himself is asking me if I’m any bit interested. Since the job requirement would more or less fall under my compass of expertise: writing and public relations, I really am giving it some serious thinking.
This is again way off my convenient zone, but do we always don’t want to risk so much so as not to get burned?
Again, I am brought back, much as it is not a given nor is it remotely close to what I was surprised with, to the Koreanovela All In. There it was mentioned that the only fascination in life is gambling. That there would be a point in one’s life that s/he must be willing to give anything, give up everything, one’s soul, one’s love, one’s life for ONE, only one reason.
I am just taking every thoughts I have, every uncertainties, every fears and doubts inside me. I don’t want to judge any emotions, any feelings I am being subjected to right now.
If we only realize that a lot of questions in life remain unanswered even after we passed on. That we are not here to find the answers at all.
We are here for the questions.

as it is

i have confirmed once again that in any relationships--friends, lovers, countrymen [hahaha!!! hello garci??!!]--that the best way to address any issues with the people involved, is saying it as it is.

mistress and slacker know that for the longest time i have a standing issue with the man from binondo about what was supposed to be one grand time gone wrong.

anyway, i really felt it festering me for days now and it was just great that we were able to chat about it at last this afternoon. i was so willing to have discussed this over lunch or in person, but it just so happened that it wasn't meant to be so.

so i told him about it and he squarely let me know his sentiments about what happened.

thanks man! letting it all out can make a great difference [ala joe d'mango...bwahaahahaha]

mistress, slacker, papa bear

at last, slacker came with mistress and me in sta.cruz and divisoria. as likely, it was totally unplanned. i was up all night downloading [but of course, CF's gorgeousness only to find out that most of the files were corrupted or misleading] when slacker chat with me. as we went on, i was able to mention to her that i was planning to go to sta. cruz to find law books for mah dad. then when she said she plans to go with me, there it started.

so when we went off, i had to ask her to secure the HR book i was borrowing from arjhaie [thanks slacker, as in]. then when we finally met, i even commented that she looked like a student about to go to classes [or about to slack, whichever]. then we waited for mistress. but we already bought DVDs. she got 7 in 1 will smith collection while i got keanu 6 in 1 including animatrix.

off we went to ongpin to find something to eat. we got interested with a lumpia eatery since we really were famished that time. mr lim was giving us intructions for another resto but we just wanted a place so badly. so we stopped by and ate to our hearts' content [again forgot the name, hmmm, think it was in chinese]. i went for maki, mistress with quekiam, slacker with sweet and sour pork.

then when we're done, it's time for divisoria. it was so funny since we rode a jeepney that was supposed to sit about 7 people per side, but we reduced it to maybe just 5. with another passenger just "making sabit" for lack of options. bweheheheehe.

when finally we were in divisoria, we shopped then shopped then bought then shopped again.

gotten tired of going the rounds, we contented ourselves in staying in divisoria mall's food court. and we talked about our lives [whose else??? if only you knew anyway].

had we not been asked to vacate our seats, we would have stayed there for eternity. anyways, we then went to tutuban mall just to go about.

mistress bought shoes [in red of course], shoes and bag [kerrokerrokerropi...i was looking for a terminator 4 one but the kid selling didn't have any...bwaahahahahaha, talking about hard selling to me]. slacker bought 2 bags, one formal and one casual. she likewise bought vcds to watch. me, i was able to buy a good watch, bracelet and vcds galore [again].

amusing how things or events that are sooo unplanned turn out more engaging and memorable than planned ones...i should know, one very much planned one panned out on me.

so much for that...i want my rest day now so i can enjoy mah vcds and mah harry potter [slacker was disappointed with all the deaths going around the book, i wonder].

enuff said.

hey there, gorgeous

a month has passed with nary an entry...hehehe. i was taking this month for a ride and it was truly a tide of mixed emotions. the loves of my life, the wave 2 of my account in CVG had a get together, 2 of them has resigned: ays and mauie, was able to watch 2 cinema flicks [one sucked big time, the other rocked totally], have now an mp3 player that is so indispensable i am getting poorer for all the batteries i'm spending on it, has a new assignment in a new location, had limewire installed and downloaded lots [from vintage aretha songs to shirley bassey to salsa, tango, chachacha to paris hilton's bed gymnastics, watched koreanovelas like my sassy girl and all in [plus the raket i have with these VCDs], my dad has enrolled to become a lawyer, my brother nears the end of his classes in medical transcription, my mom frustrated for not contributing to the ratings of encantadia and sugo since our teevee set broke down, and my darling li'l sister, lingling learning the abc's and how to spell much to my delight.

at this point, regardless of how i felt the entire month, i feel blessed again. i feel renewed. i feel loved.

what a month right?

nella fantasia

this song is very inspiring. it talks about one's wish for a much more caring world. sarah brightman persisted for the composer, ennio morricone, to turn this instrumental piece, from the opus The Mission, to an aria. and it is refreshing to say the least. sarah's and il divo's versions are amazing.

here it is:

Nella Fantasia

Nella fantasia io vedo un mondo giusto,
Li tutti vivono in pace e in onestà.
Io sogno d'anime che sono sempre libere,
Come le nuvole che volano,
Pien' d'umanità in fondo all'anima.

Nella fantasia io vedo un mondo chiaro,
Li anche la notte è meno oscura.
Io sogno d'anime che sono sempre libere,
Come le nuvole che volano.

Nella fantasia esiste un vento caldo,
Che soffia sulle città, come amico.
Io sogno d'anime che sono sempre libere,
Come le nuvole che volano,
Pien' d'umanità in fondo all'anima.

In my fantasy

In my fantasy I see a fair world,
Where everyone lives in peace and honesty.
I dream of a place to live that is always free,
Like a cloud that floats,
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.

In my fantasy I see a bright world
Where each night there is less darkness.
I dream of spirits that are always free,
Like the cloud that floats.

In my fantasy exists a warm wind,
That breathes into the city, like a friend.
I dream of souls that are always free,
Like the cloud that floats,
Full of humanity in the depths of the soul.

payday bonding

this is now getting to be a habit. mistress and the man from binondo and mojacko hang out whenever we have the moolah.

and am really so sorry for letting slacker down once more, it just happened unplanned [again]

what happened was i wanted to go to jollibee to have my usual payday fix of chickenjoy and spaghetti, so i told theny that if there's going to be money in the bank, we can eat out [although i really wanted to treat them out]. then she muttered, even if there's no money we should still eat.

i told mond as well about our plans and we waited for him to finish by 10 [which extended till 1030, with him squinting his eyes and looking damn tired, ;p]

heniweys, we went out and, as forever usual, it took us the longest time to make up our minds on where to eat [pinoys really take infinity on this]. finally, we settled for d'angelo [with mond wanting chowking, i don't remember theny's]

ah yeah, as long as there wouldn't be any people staring at us or hinting that we better vacate our table, that's where she would have wanted.

then after that, we went malling without direction, as usual [this phrase will be a keyword in this blog]. then getting tired of all the walking, cocooned in mcdees [mcdo for you! haha]. i cajoled mond for desserts, and got it!!! [yipee, strawberry sundae, the best, mah fave]

and then we talked...talked...talked more...talked

to think i still had a shift last night! [what was i thinking? i was so hyper i went home past 6pm, just changed clothes then went to work for mah 12am shift. but i wasn't sleepy at all. i only sensed fatigued when i was about to logout at 915am]

you know guys, i reallllllllllllly thank you for being there that time. i will always have it with me. the way i was able to open up things and tell you about mah take on things. i am so blessed having you two around for mah mababaw musings and whathaveyous.

awful things may have been frustrating me lately but definitely having theny and mond as my best buddies sure make more than enough for all those let down moments go by.

luv yah guys! mwah

p.s.
hoy, we will push through with the bar thingey oks? we will down bottles of draft and fill our sense of sight with astral bodies [bwahaahahaha]

testimonial

i am now having more time to write testimonials to peeps in mah friendster account. i recently wrote something for a dear friend of mine in CVG, and i went on writing something in spanish since she tried learning it and i am in the process of learning hablo espanol myself.

here's what i wrote:

en la vida, no es tanto que ganamos muchas cosas ni logramos muchas nuestras aspiraciones. en la mayora de los tiempos, est en cunto hemos adorado eso importar, que seremos recordados el la mayora del.

in life, it is not so much that we gained a lot of things nor achieved a lot of our aspirations. in most times, it is on how much we have loved that will matter, that we will be remembered the most.

ikaw ang lahat sa akin

translating this song's title to english [you are my everything] just doesn't quite capture its soul. i sooo love this song and singing it just gives me that heady feeling everytime.

this is very much special to me right now and i hope you enjoy it.

Ikaw ang Lahat sa Akin

ikaw ang lahat sa akin,
kahit ika'y wala sa aking piling
isang magandang alaala
isang kahapong lagi kong kasama

ikaw ang lahat sa akin
kahit ika'y di ko dapat ibigin
dapat ba kitang limutin
pa'no mapipigil ang isang damdamin
kung ang sinisigaw
ikaw ang lahat sa akin

at kung hindi ngayon
ang panahon, upang ikaw ay mahalin
bukas na walang hanggan
doo'y maghihintay pa rin

ikaw ang lahat sa akin
sa maykapal aking dinadalangin
dapat ba kitang limutin
pa'no mapipigil ang isang damdamin
kung ang sinisigaw
ikaw ang lahat sa akin

at kung hindi ngayon
ang panahon, upang ikaw ay mahalin
bukas na walang hanggan
doo'y maghihintay pa rin

pano mapipigil ang isang damdamin
kung ang sinisigaw
ikaw ang lahat sa akin

at kung hindi ngayon
ang panahon, upang ikaw ay mahalin
bukas na walang hanggan
hanggang matapos ang kailan pa man
bukas na walang hanggan
doo'y maghihintay pa rin

being slapped on the face

have you ever felt a situation wherein you felt your cheeks reddened, felt the sting of a slap, yet none such action ever happened?

well, yeah, i have. and right now i feel stupid going over the motions again and again. i am not mad, i just feel like confronting somebody.
but will i get my end of it? i don't think so. foremost, i feel this is not justified for the other party since we don't know each other. i mean, yeah, at face value we do but we are not known to each other in any way defined by norms.

and for this, i ran 2 hours on the treadmill. talk about release.

happy father's day

two of my closest friends and i went for a chow this week and had a talk about our lives for the first time. it's not weird since this was the first time we had time in our hands to, you know, talk about ourselves. we have been together for over a year now and maybe it just went that good that we found ourselves disclosing [incriminating] details about us.

i would spare the details for now, i mean, with so much respect for my 2 other buddies of course. but generally, my drift of how the talk went, and the reason for the title of this blog, is that each of us were impacted of how much our relationship with our fathers has on us.

closeness or the lack of it defined how we have viewed certain aspects of our lives. one enthused that one could have been to more places and would have been more successful had a father been more supportive of his offspring's goals and dreams.

yet, running on my mind is the thought that maybe this friend of mine is being pushed by the father to be more aggressive, to be more reliable and to be more responsible. i figured, maybe the father doesn't see much of that boldness in the person, not enough to trust to let go.

although i may be wrong. the father can also be faulted for not trying to reach out to the person to determine the fears and aspirations of his heir. sometimes, if a parent attaches much expectations, the son or daughter feels so much pressure that they end up burnt out at the end.

the road trip

i already set up another blog site for theny and mine's 'the road trip' adventure. i dunno, i guess we just had our heads whacked together to think of this insane [mis]adventures blog site for our attempt to get to places we haven't been to and most importantly i guess, is this discovery within ourselves. i believe that we get to see our worst and get to know more our best sides whenever we are on the road.

i will be popping the exact site address when it's up with contents. we still haven't gotten it ready since i am still in the process of finalizing the look and feel of the space. bwehehehehe. theny is right now in Bicol [SL on VL, ahehehe] and will be back tuesday, i think. i better get it together working by that time.

what it's going to look like is it's going to have my and her versions on how it went, maybe we'll agree to have it posted in almost the same time so as not to influence the other about the trip. then we also have a guest every trip. he/she will explain the circumstances on how they became part of this journey. if they are incidental guests, then theny and me will describe it for them.

our first sojourn was in chinatown. we went the rounds [and i mean, THE rounds] of binondo and divisoria.

i'll gather my wits within the night and hopefully, have this up by nighttime when i do my reports.

june 16 surely was a day to remember...ah, life.

art of letting go: on closure and moving on

the frustrated joe d’ mango that i am, i have always harbored the thought of someday doing such stuff, writing advices for letter senders.

but hey, i got something closer than what i previously thought impossible. i turn to blogging.

this means will allow me to dispense my take on certain things without hitting on one person directly. it's like my way of sharing how i feel for certain life topics without being so to-your-face since i don't have somebody specific in mind.


step one

as a step forward in this endeavor, i will start with the art of letting go. this, as i know it, is a music album title. with songs contained bearing music for the broken hearted. now, do i have to confirm with a record bar still if this album flew off the shelves? no brainer it did. pinoys, at most, buy these genre for we are a nation of suckers for romance. i don't think we are known to be a race of emotional hard balls. there is always, in each one of us, that soft spot for crying over spoiled relationships. unless you have a friend in my former boss, michelle d., you will be reading this. [why i said that? she told me that whenever she has a friend going through the motions of mending a broken heart, she would lend a Trance CD. for if it'd be a mushy one, the person wouldn't get over it. with Trance, there is no lyrics or anything, one has no reason to sulk and linger. hahahaha]

how does one let go really? i guess, there is no cut and dried way to go about it. that makes it easy and hard at the same time, right? it means, we are the ones responsible for creating the shortcut menu for going on with our lives. but others wouldn't take it this way, rather, what they want is for other people to sort it out for them. at first, that's ok. these people would be the ones waking us in our unholy hours just because they feel like crying again. again that is fine. but what if they feel like doing that 24/7 for half a year?

i guess, what really makes it so hard is the fact that we don't want to confront the reality of a person we loved so darn hard is just letting go of us that EASILY. be it on pride, loss, immaturity, possessiveness, love or any combination and permutation thereabouts, the fact that somebody walked out on us is hurting, of course, and overwhelming.

we can never be prepared for such. whoever goes into a relationship thinking on the first day that "i must prepare for the day we break up" is either looney or simply pathetic or not in love at all. i mean, we always think of going through love hoping it would be endless.

the gravity of loss would now be dependent on how well-built we are, empirically, in facing such situations. factors could be, how many times we have faced such realities, our age [both maturity and chronological], our environment [where we grew up], our support group, our faith [this is disputable. i don't necessarily mean religion. it is our relationship with a higher being or for non-believers, on our disposition].


what is closure?

personally, what i find close to home is closure [gosh, using the same root word in 1 sentence]. what i find hard to accept when i was so mercilessly immersed in such lachrymal-ly overworking reality is closure. i am one person who wants one final talk before letting go. i can't comprehend that people who have loved one another would just completely ignore such relationship as if it was totally non-existent. same to annulment, right?

my version would have been, that that person would sit it out with me and discuss what has happened and be totally adults with our failures. and not just cold shoulder-ing me every time we meet and try, at the very least, to meet with me and talk things out [as opposed to talk things over; for this means, resolving the problem to resolution. with the 2 of you getting back on again]

i guess, the main propel for me to have closure is to hear it first-hand "where did i go wrong?" [that song totally captured it]. not so much on defending your lot but more on looking straight to your lover's [be it your friend, relatives etc] eyes and getting it cold. and more so, you dishing out your sentiments straightforward. spewing it out loud what you have to say.

maybe it's more about us telling them. the mere fact we want closure, the reason hedges closer to our benefit. the lack of images for us to imagine how our partner would have reacted on what we have to say may be the bulk of the reason why closure is needed. like for me, i would have relished seeing the face of that person register shock, or guilt, or realization on the things i have listed in my mind and pored over countless times ever since the walk out.


what is moving on?

can anybody be ever be definite and descriptive on this subject, moving on? we all take into things differently, more so, on how we feel certain things. we are relative in how we accept things right? and this status of acceptance defines, as i see it, how we are moving on or if, ever, we have moved on.

there are people who have claimed that they are past certain relationships but upon probing you find out that, they are, as claimed, only because they haven't seen the other person after the break up. i don't lay claim that we need to see the other person just to make sure that we have moved on. what there is, is that most times, distance did its thing for us. we have healed on most parts because we have lost contact. now, what do you think would have happened if we keep on bumping into that person every day? would it in fact have more bearing if we were able to resist reconciliation given such frequent encounters or is it in equality with another person who has moved on unbound by such close distance.

honestly, i don't know the answer.

that is why moving on for me is quite indescribable, unless we really know the person concerned.

others would say that if it's not distance, then it must be time. years upon years after would have dulled us from the pain of a failed relationship. yet, similar to above, time is also distance expressed in minutes and hours. it is likewise presumptuous to claim that we are past hurt if we counted years already. for feelings know no space nor time. and if we have just covered up our emotions with things to get ourselves busy with, without confronting what needs to be addressed, then we are only buying, yes, time.

we are just making ourselves believe that in so doing, we can go on with our lives without facing what has come out from the relationship.

i speak for my self, but i think, whatever emotions we go through in life have meanings. we don't necessarily have to go about them one by one, every day, but when we feel strongly about a certain emotion, about a certain person, in most waking hours, then it needs attention.

haven't you yourself endure the pangs of nagging feelings? when you feel like, you don't want it anymore? how come you always feel sorry for yourself, that you don't deserve feeling that way, or how come the other person CAN'T feel the same misery that you are in?

only we can answer that. for no amount of explanation will suffice for somebody whose questions are unaccountable to any other but one's self. only we have that key to finding out what we needs to be resolved. we can count on people, friends, our family to help us sort some things, but not decide on ALL things.

therefore, we need not rush things to resolution. if the reason why we just want closure is so that we can have it done and over it, then we fail to realize why we encountered failure, and why we need to go on. things do take time in some cases to figure itself out. there are many moments in life we don’t fathom the reason why it’s happening, and foremost, why us. rushing ourselves, and even forcing the other party to provide us reasons for their decisions don’t add up to resolution.

find that within you, it will not be easy, it will never be easy. but life never promised to be easy on us. that makes life and all needed decisions a mystery to unravel, and not to be solved.

certified FULL HOUSE fanatic

alright, i will not try to be defensive about it, but YES, i am a Full House addict. certified.

i am sooooo much into this tv series that i don't know how to go about this blog for it. i was thinking that it might be better to just have a rundown of the things i sooooo love about the show, or then again, maybe go about the quotes i remember and then discuss them one by one, but then again, i couldn't resist poring over and over the sites of the show's headliners.

huwaaaaaaaa, i can't make up my mind.

i am sooooo definitely taken by the show's story that i am now bothered in my resting hours. i can't think of anything else lately. and who would ever think, among people in my workplace, that i am one of the many who are AFFECTED by these **mundane concerns?

i definitely am, not known to many i guess is the fact that i happen to be a couch potato who wants lazy afternoons and hours on hours on end of endless boob tube fare. i definitely am.

of mara clara and marimar

i remember watching annaliza when i was smaller, then the first few years of mara clara. until i discovered that the show did nothing but appeal to the tear glands of its viewers by subjecting its viewers to episodes of heavy emotions and crying. how could you ever imagine a story wherein characters are ending up always in hospital beds or accidents or kidnappings WHENEVER they are on the brink of solving their plot dilemma once and for all?

either Susan Africa, clara's biological mom, would end up crazed again or Beverly Vergel, mara's mother, would have an amnesia when she discovered an information so vital to her 'true' daughter's identity. gosh, it was my soooo pathetic summer, spending afternoons in my front of our tv set just trying to root for Judy Ann Santos to come to her senses and fight for her right as "nag-iisang heredera ng mga del valle." [the heiress to the del valle fortune]

incredulous me!

before Marimar became the toast of telenovelas, there was Valeria Montoya of La Traidora, the heiress of the Tricom empire. my mom was in Cebu then for her annual trip when my dad and i decided to spend the 6:30 evenings watching the rise and fall and rising again of this red headed senora slugging it out with her equally tempestuous cousin, Dayana, for the control of the family riches.

haaaaaaay, little did i know that when mother came back and WE introduced her to the Montoya clan, she would end up romancing, MORE THAN my dad’s and my curiosity and dedication in watching, the telenovelas for years to come. my mom was so habitually concerned about these characters that whenever she phoned us brothers home when they were in laguna, she would say it this way:

"O anak, napakain nyo na ba ang mga hayop?..." [sons, have you fed our dogs and cats?]

"opo" [yes mother]

"O wag nyong kalimutan isulat ang GoBingo at yung La Traidora..." [o, don’t forget my GoBingo combinations and La Traidora] [then she will guffaw]

now can you imagine that? a parent calling from the province and checking on her unicos hijos, BUT reminding first about the pets, if they have eaten, and then her tv fare. but not, "o mga anak, kumain na ba kayo?" [sons have you eaten?]

imagine that!


plot critique

i think this growing habit to watch lots of shows has provided me and kuya [elder brother] with insights on what a good show is like. we used to grow with daddy commenting every time he would hear about the titles of betamax tapes we're going to be renting, "ano mapapala nyo dyan. paulit-ulit lang ang kwento nyan?" [why waste your money on that. its plot is threadbare anyway?]

and we would resent that, ALWAYS.
not knowing that it presents so much wisdom. looking back, i now know that daddy couldn't have said it any better.

plots nowadays are so copied, so trite, so banal.

we need new writers. and quick.

that is the reason why channel 2 is getting the rear end of its karma. they have perfected scheming plots for the teevee that now they have grown too big in their thrones, they couldn't budge a bit to assess weaknesses and improve on it.

they need to realize that viewers are sooooo discriminating nowadays due to rampant exposure to all sorts of media. ALL forms.

they can never underestimate the importance of a really GOOD story. ramping up with glitzy stars, visually stunning effects and vaunted production design doesn’t a good story make. if the story itself SUCKS, people would know.

with Darna and Encantadia doing good share of commercial loads and high ratings, it is time abs-cbn come to its senses and improve lots. they used to be the trailblazers but now has become mere copycats of other station's hits or just mere blender of rehash items of their previous glories. pathetic.

and i now go full circle,

i will now be describing what my title is all about, hehehehe, let's toast about Full House.

i don't know if doing marathon screening has helped immensely, for we watched the show almost non-stop for 16 hours. but, the story was sooooo addictive. we would always tell ourselves, okay one more vcd. but at the end of the playback, we would again insert the next copy and watch once more.

and gladly we would. hehehehehe.

the story is refreshing and the main charactes have given it so much texture and variety that it was as interesting as it was romantic to watch. for me, it was real life. period.

it never attempted to play too coy about the possible romance between Young Jae and Juen Ha [ i hope i got that right, it's justin and jessie here in RP]. actress Song Hye Kyo and pop singer Rain in real life.

[[digression: i even soaked my self surfing their sites. regardless if i don't know korean. i went on and did research... fanatic, right?]]

and Song's friendship with Min-Hyuk [Kim Sung Soo] was true to form as well. she never assured and she even confessed that she should have told him not to wait since it is really hard to wait with no assurance that the other person will be there at the end. [i feel I will make this a blog topic as well in the future, “waiting for nothing”]


insightful

the show has lots of insights. of course, never original for no thoughts is original anymore nowadays. but it was presented with earnestness and never came on too strong nor preachy.

or maybe, i am just too engrossed with it nowadays that flaws are still out of sight.

i know that i will still be mushy if i go on right now, extolling FH's virtues to the highest high. just my way, i guess of applauding them for a job well done would be me writing about this for days to come. i have thought of putting some of the show's quotes that struck me as titles of my blogs. what those lines did to me was to look back on my personal experiences and ponder on them.

and i guess, just by FH doing that, it has really endeared itself to me. as opposed to the numerous chinovelas i appreciated, the main thing is that the others never related to me too well. i sure felt sad on the character's plight but unlike FH, it never made me look inside myself and see, once again, what i have been trying to search for in my existence.

it has been such a long time that i was able to retreat upon myself and reflect on things that mattered. i have gone through failed relationships coupla times before and i think that has prevented me from trusting way too much these years.

i can understand perfectly well Young Jae when he admitted that the reason why he doesn't call home is that he never was used to the idea of a person waiting for him. my take on that is, he was never initiated to that reality, that is why he was never giving it importance.

and i felt that way.

when i was so misunderstood by my 2 closest friends for being insensitive, and i think, was their reason for walking out on me. they failed to realize that at that time, i may have looked soooo mature in person, but i was still in the process of finding things about myself. i guess, my wrong was, i made it appear that i know and understand things far beyond our chronological age's comprehension. maybe that was it.

but i was also trying to see things through in life. finding my real me. finding answers to my insurmountable questions. maybe just because i could figure out things for them, i knew and figured out things all by my lonesome me. but no.

and watching FH has gotten me back to that situation. when i was still trying to make sense out of everything. there were things that i did which i wasn't too well aware of. i wasn't aware that in so doing, i was hurting other people. i was neglecting a lot of people close to me. i failed to realize that there was more to saying "i love you" to people we hold dear. there is more to touching them, embracing them, treating them out, writing them love letters. i failed in a lot of areas which proved so consequential to me.

and watching FH, sadly brought tears to my eyes. that failure to appreciate people while they're still next to us. failure to admit that we are weak, so weak, but we try very hard to be strong just for that person. that yes, it would have been very different had we admitted to that person that, "i don't know. i won't be strong for you."

maybe because i didn't want to hear: "you failed me," in the first place.