to begin with, we don't have any

[**original complete title of this should be:
thank God, we don't have any problems with love...
to begin with, we don't have any]


i think i countlessly enthused that i was, am and forever will be a joe d'mango copycat. i even try to sound just like him and pretend i am in a radio booth dispensing advice to countless faceless letter senders. hey, i even try to read much into his weekly sunday column in phil. daily inquirer.

maybe it's because i do admit i am a true blue LT, or lehitimong tsismoso, in real and reel [as if] life.

anyways, this was the statement shared by slacker and was asked of me to advice on:


"how can one ever continue being friends with somebody, when everytime you look at that person all you can think of is how much you want to be more than friends?"

ahhhh love, inlababo, in luhrv, pag-ibig, pagmamahal, libido, libog [ika nga ng guro ko nu'ng sekundarya, pagnanasang makalupa ng dalawang taong nagmamahalan...sus, seks lang naman pala in ader words].

l-o-v-e.

i guess continuance of friendship will depend on the depth of relationship they have as individuals. the length and breadth of it AND if the ties that bind is stronger than what could happen after one of the two said "i love you." then the frienship will even be strengthened. those 2 factors will be the crux of the matter.

it has always been easier had it been that the feelings were mutual, no problem at all. but if only one party is feeling the emotion and the other is stranger to it, then the more resentment will build up if after saying the 3 worded statement the person being told will say, "can we be just friends?"

ouch.

why? simply because as friends, then later as the friend falling in love, we at times place special contexts/connotations to acts which, had it been otherwise, are normal for friends. the kisses on the cheeks, the gift for your birthday, the hugs, the pasalubongs after a trip, the texts of sweet nothings, the silent moments for just the two of you after a heart-to-heart talk, the laughter in the rain, the stares you have for each other after a laughing fit.

all these would be "i thought" moments for you. since, of course, it is a given that you have always wondered if your feelings have been reciprocated even for just one moment. but the sad reality is that, being in love, puts our logic awry and we tend to analyse things for more than what it is actually.

as dang would say it, "dude, walang isyu."

the intensity of being in love makes us irrational in thinking that being snubbed was for a reason. then again, were we really snubbed?

more so with friends who have had shared histories of being together: physically and emotionally.

now this is the second crucial stage, how does the rejected party feel after being told such? now that will define how the relationship between them will prosper, if at all. say, it can take time before the rejected person will get over it. there is no hard and fast rule here. the rejecting person, on the other hand, may either be so solicitous, the rejected one would feel being sympathized on or worse, being patronized for being such a stupid person who's in love with a friend.

or, the rejecting person will be doing a cold treatment, as in dedma to death, about what has transpired.

me? i don't know which is worse, being there for the rejected friend or not at all. again, this will be based on the personality of the jilted person .

because with others, for example, kris aquino, would want to cry her heart out just to be so pathetic about it and move on. she would admit crying bucketful of tears over mushy love songs over and over till her lachrymal glands have dried up. although, having gone through lots of unrequited love, kris would be very knowledgeable already about this. she is now an expert for falling over and over with committed lovers.

how about, regine velasquez with her ariel rivera? she said, he broke up with her only over the phone...and what she did was hope for a tad bit but when she realized that he loved the other she more, she decided to immerse herself to work and just forget about it. working even with ariel himself in an extended tour in the states with the other she. of course it can't be helped that ariel had glances or look that he was so sorry for what happened. maybe for regine by not recognizing the hurt over and over, it would make her better off.

now what do you think?